Saturday, August 02, 2008
{ 5:01 AM }
i dont know how should i feel about you all. sigh. life is so short i find..so short that i feel that i'm wasting my life away now. i shouldnt care about what people think of me and how they feel about me. i am who i am. if you hate me, it's your problem, nothing to do with me anyways. besides, i dont see a problem with me. maybe i'm quite the introvert person that you people dont know. sometimes, it's not as though i dont like talking to people. it's just that i dont know how to start talking. you know, i'm not transparent. you cant pretend you didnt see me can you? or maybe my pressence really doesnt matter to anyone. now i thought of narayan's words. we are born into this world alone and no matter how many friends, family members and partners we have, in the end, we'll all leave the world alone. when you're fighting a war with no comrades, you're all alone. yes, i am. sigh..i miss my past): again. why am i always like that. i spent almost half of my life in the pressence of my grandma, uncle meng, muncho and nurdi. and now, they are all gone. it's like almost half my life gone. the memories are taken away by them as they leave. those feelings and emotions, are burnt by the fire, buried by the sand and blown by the wind. i dont know why they are gone when i need them most. i have no confidence in being who i am now. theodora, you're such a failure who cant face your present. get a life girl.